But All My Love Still Remains…

There are things in this world we live in that make me smile and or cry like a baby. After all these many difficulties I have gone through, whether is friends, school or everyday life, God lifts me up from the ashes and guides me back to the light. As my day of graduation grows closer I have found people and things in my life that are truly worth thanking God for, because without Him my life wouldn’t be as good as it is now. Consider yourself like one of the disciples, when your out fishing or collecting peoples taxes or even building tents, God calls you to be one of His children and your life is turned around. Now your worshiping God, praying constantly and fellowshipping in the Spirit with other Christians. That is something you should be proud of, being one of God’s children, being part of His Kingdom forever, being right with Him always.

He captures us with His love, and holds us when we feel down in the dumps, He tells us He gots this covered when you think you can’t do it, and He shows us the way down to righteousness. Your the one to embrace His Glory, His Honor, His Holiness everyday, because it makes you do what you do, no matter where you are in life. Whether your dealing with hostile terrorists in Nigeria, or a scandal in the government, or even running a country, His Glory still must shine in that. I haven’t done this in a while, but I found that my attitude is better, I feel some weight lifted off my shoulders and I’m trying to smile more…or at least I am. All because of My Lord! He made me who I am, and issues the things in my life to change; friends, family, school, and life. All of it changed. Yes I may complain that I hate it, but that’s not going to stop me for doing what he asks me to do, no! I’ll do what I do best, and live to the fullest for Him always!!

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. 1 Cor. 13:1-3


“Your my mission!!”


“We’re awesome like, Loki and Thor!” I said to my friend Becca today. I love referring my friends to Avengers, it’s so fun and their reaction is the best! But it’s not what makes their reaction the best, it’s the bond you share with that person, it’s their caring, their willing to tell you the truth to your face. “Or like Captain America and Bucky” I mentioned. Friendship. Something we cherish everyday of our lives, something that I want to cherish, even if it means ending a friendship. Trust. A thing I need from people that are will to be my friend, and I finally found someone who does that, someone who won’t care what I say even if it’s mean. Someone who can understand where I am in my walk with Christ, someone who knows that I don’t socialize well.

“Or like Bruce and Stark” I mentioned again. Goofiness. Being a weirdo together is fun, being inventive is imagination when you have a friend who can do it with you. Someone who loves unicorns, but never judges you for you like because you too are a weirdo as well. Someone who likes the similar things you like, but tells you out straight what’s stupid and what’s not. “Or…Natasha and Clint?” I mentioned last. Mysterious. A day of grey is fun to do with a friend; whether your playing a video game or watching a Disney movie, you’ll have some one there by your side. Someone who can tell you that rain is a lovely thing, someone who can show you the beauties of what the rain can do. “But I still like Loki and Thor” Becca said. Sisters. Two girls who are close, but never related. They can be related through Christ or through blood, it doesn’t matter you’ll still have each other by your side no matter what.

I’m getting better at finding those who I thought weren’t there for me, but in reality they were always there, I just never noticed it. God replaced someone in my life as a friend and I am sure glad I realized that she was my true friend to me. Just like Bucky and Steve. It only takes a radical thing to make a difference in someone’s life…


Quote is from Captain America 2.

“John I was right about what I said. I don’t have any friends, I just have one.”


I thought you had my back, I thought we’d be best friends forever, then you stab me in the back and lie to me. I thought you’d be there for me when I’m down, I thought you and would stick together like glue, but you found someone to replace me and ruined my life. I thought we were like Sherlock and John, friend till death, but you pushed me off the building instead of Moriarty. We’d send spams, and talk about our fandoms, but was all that just a lie to you? We’d have a Sherlock marathon and cosplay as them, but was that not real to you? We did sleepovers and watch our favorite movies and cry when Kirk died, but was that even a day to you?

We were sisters! We were loyal till the end, but you found someone better someone who wouldn’t get in your face, someone who wouldn’t care where you are in Christ. So now you have only one friend who can be your sociopath, your best friend, the one who will cosplay with you, watch Sherlock marathons with you, and cry on your shoulder. And I’ll be the one graduating without trusty friends in the crowd to wish we congratulations, and well done. I’ll be the one with hurt stuck in my heart and rejection in my head, because of you. I hope your happy with what you did, because I trusted you!! I thought we’d be there for each other instead you make others go against one another…

God made this happen, so I hope your happy, because I am not!


Quote is from Sherlock: Season 2, Episode 2. Sherlock says he has no friends whatsoever, that how I feel now.

“You have bewitched me, body and soul…”

Pride and Prejudice


Kent is such a lovely place, full of beautiful landscapes and farm houses spaced apart by the most reluctant trees; it has it moments where the sun hits them in a certain angle and the rays bounce in every which way. It was a Sunday morning, and the family was getting ready for chapel. Mr. Dove, a preacher at the chapel, got his bible together while his wife Mrs. Dove, gathered her children to leave; they had four and one on the way. Miss Dove, who is the eldest of the four, made her way outside and down the path way to chapel, she was thinking up new scenes to write in her novel she is writing; it was obvious she wanted to be a writer. In the time of great poverty most woman of the age of marriage, must choose a man with wealth, but for Miss Dove, she didn’t find ‘choosing’ a man a priority, she found it better to ‘choose’ one who is fit and worthy enough for her and her God. “Beth, do wait up for the rest of the family! We don’t wish to be late for chapel now would we, since your father is the preacher after all” Mrs. Dove called out. Miss Dove stopped in the middle of the pathway, just when her best friend appeared with her family; it was Ruth Harris or Miss Harris is what her mother calls her when she is distraught at her. “My goodness Beth, for the past few days every man here in Kent wishes your hand. How come you’ve not accepted any of their requests?” Ruth asked as the two ladies walked together. Beth smiled. She couldn’t help, that her best friend would think she, of all other women in Kent, would accept a marriage proposal. “You must be mistaken, dear Ruth, for I have never accepted a proposal like that since I was of age. For I will never do such a thing unless that man is equal in mind, religion and kindness as myself” Beth stated boldly. Her friend smiled, and then laughed; only Beth Dove was a downer on men and their statutes. “Perhaps to get rid of your bad taste in men, maybe you should attend a ball with me?” Ruth offered kindly, as they approached the chapel. “I’d be delighted to join you, but you don’t have a dancing bone in you. Why offer to attend if you don’t dance?” Beth asked in a suspicious way. Ruth smiled, and then replied, “You’ll soon see for yourself, Beth.” The two girls laughed and walked along the pathway, till they reached the chapel just in time for church, and for Mr. Dove’s sermon; Beth and Ruth walked into the small wooden building and sat themselves next to each other in the pew. In front of the ladies sat the Cox’s, they were close friends with the Dove’s but not as close as the Harris’; in the Cox’s reside Mr. and Mrs. Cox and their children, Arthur, Penny and Richard. Next to them sat the Ferguson’s, an older couple, like grandparents to the Dove’s, and lastly the most disliked family in Kent, the William’s.

After chapel, Ruth and Beth decided to take a lovely walk to get some fresh air, and in the midst of their walk, they had a man follow them into the woods; it was Arthur Cox, the eldest in the Cox family and had fancied Beth for a long time. “Miss Dove a word, please?” Arthur called out. Beth and Ruth ignored Arthur, thus they continue to walk; Arthur was persistent and interrupted the ladies walk for one simple thing: marriage. “Miss Dove…please a word?!” Arthur called out once again. “What is it Arthur?” Beth spat at him. Arthur Cox was a kind gentleman of twenty-four, his hair was bright orange and stood taller than a small tree in the forest; it was custom for most men in England to know chivalry, but Arthur didn’t know much of it. “I wish to ask you a special and personal question on your behalf” Arthur knelt down as he took off his hat. As soon as Beth saw him kneel, she turned on her heels, and left him there in front of Ruth; Beth knew what he was going to ask and hat situation was awkward enough for her anyways.


Quote is from the movie Pride & Prejudice.

“I am Loki of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose!”


Burdens are those things that weight you down, and keep you in the dumps, but sometimes you can see past those burdens. Sadly for me, I am trying to get past one; I miss my friends…I am trying to forget about them after these past few days, but I get reminded of the things we did together and the items they purchased or made for me. I have this like of grief stored away deep inside me and I just can’t let it out…

Even though burdens plague me, I still have things and others in my life I can lean on to talk to besides those that have betrayed me and wish to follow the wrong path. One person I want to thank personally on here is my newest friend Ariel Woodward! She has asked me how I am doing, wanted to know what was wrong with me, and listened to my rants. I met Ariel at a Web lock in a while back, and we became fast friends and fellow Pinterest buddies 🙂 I thank you Ariel for being there for me, when my other friends cannot, for even though I barely know you, your heart is kind! Thanks girly your awesome!!

Now on to my blessings for today…

>>>>watching Serenity with my family
>>>>meeting new people at CHEO Show Case
>>>>the smell of rain before and after it pours
>>>>going to the Disney store with my family
>>>>drinking Irish coffee in a UK mug
>>>>spending my time on Pinterest
>>>>writing my new story
>>>>loving my show chickens, Mr. Darcy and Miss Bennet


Quote is from The Avengers. Loki says this when he enters Midgard with the Tesseract.

“Son…just don’t.”


Here is a story I am working on. The two brothers are going through tough times and they need some guidance… Hope you like it!!

Mondays. A day I regret waking up to and even stepping foot outside my house, but every person must leave to do something useful, right? “Are you awake?!” Peter yelled banging on my door. Ruffling in me comforters, I arose from my bed and looked around my bedroom; you could see my clothes strung everywhere and shoes too. “Yeah…” I moaned. “Well get ready…it’s time” Peter said softly. Time? Time for what exactly…oh wait I remember now. It was the anniversary of my parents dying, and every year my brother and I visit the cemetery to pay our condolences with flowers. So I put on my dark green shirt and my skinny with my new converse that I bought, and then left my bedroom with my leather jacket in hand. “Good, I thought you’d never get up Dean. Come on, we need to pick up Veronica too” Peter stated. Ugh, Veronica. I hated her, she sounded so needy with my brother, and so up tight about everything Peter does; I have been praying he ditches her sooner or later. “Fine, whatever” I rolled my eyes. “Don’t sass me Dean, you and I know that without Veronica we couldn’t pay for our house and for our parents burial, so shut it!” Peter raised his voice. Who cares if she part took in the family burial? I sure don’t nor do I care if she is paying for the house my brother and I are living in, it’s all kind of quirky to me. “Sorry…geez” I throw my hands up. “Now lets go, can’t be late ya know” Peter said leaving the house. I followed behind and get into I’s and my brother’s nice black Camaro that dad got us before he died; it’s our transportation until we can get a different car. “Can I drive?” I asked. Peter raised an eye brow at me, and then he laughed. “How old are you? Nineteen, so no you can’t” Peter snarked. “Dude, I am not nineteen, I am twenty-one! Quit treating me like I’m a kid again!” I yelled. I pushed him and entered the driver’s seat, started the car and slammed the door shut in anger; he always treated me like I was a kid, and I hated that! He needs to know that I am a adult and I can make adult decisions, better than my brother can or anyone else can…gosh I wish my parents saw how crappy we were acting. “Hey…I am sorry Dean, I keep forgetting that you’re old enough to do whatever you like. So again sorry about that” Peter apologized and got into the car.

I pulled out of the drive way, while my brother cracked up the radio to the 80s station; Richard was obsessed about that station because our father loved the 80s music, while I just deal with it on our way to and from the house. “Oh I love this song! It’s the one dad taught you to play on the guitar, remember Dean?” Peter exclaimed. Ah yes, Journey. The only 80s rock band I actually like. For once in my life I found something that I was good at, and that was playing the guitar and also singing. “Yeah I remember…” I said focusing on the road than the music. We end up pulling into Veronica’s drive way, and there she stood, on her porch dressed in the creepiest way possible; Peter didn’t notice, but I sure did. “I appreciate you picking me up boys” Veronica thanked us. I rolled my eyes; can it get any more fake than that? “Yeah, yeah just get in the back will ya!” I raised my voice at her. Veronica pouted and ended up squeezing in between my brother and I; she then turned the channel on the radio to the country station, I about lost it. Us guys my be living in the middle of country and city, but that doesn’t mean I want to listen to country music, I don’t practically like country music it reminds me too much of my mom…she loved country music a lot. “Can I change it please? I am not a huge fan of Luke Bryan and Trace Adkins, so to save our poor ears, I am changing the station” I said with the flip of the knob. After the battle of the radio, the three of us arrived to the cemetery finally; it seemed the same old place where my brother and I stood watching my parents being lowered into the ground. The trees swayed in the wind as the three of us walked up to my parents grave sights, I stood over my mothers grave with her favorite flowers, carnations and daisies. Peter kneel by our father’s grave stone and started to weep, it had only been three years since they died, but for us boys it felt like forever since they left us on this wretched earth. “She always smiled…ya know…all the time” I said drooping my head. “Yes she did, it was because of dad…” Peter sighed.


Quote is from Captain America: The First Avenger. I have a obsession with Rogers okay…

“No, your wrong. I am a Jedi, like my father before me.”


Many things approach me in this month, and it can be really annoying and also tired some for my thought process. But sometimes God lightens up my life with a few blessings here and there.

~Seeing Captain America 2 with old and best friends~
~listening to uplifting Christian music~
~texting my friend Becca:)~
~watching Episode 6 with my family on Star Wars Day~
~finding out that we’re getting a new van~
~kittens being born(one of them is all black)~
~warm weather~
~talking to my Sensei’s wife~
~and reading my friend Lizzy’s book:)~


Quote is from Episode 6: The Return of the Jedi.