I have gotten to a point in my life that having someone close is something that I want, but I believe that is just the romantic in me talking and not my actual heart saying that. Yes I did admit that I am a romantic type of person, but not like a serious romantic; it’s not something I go out and tell everybody. But being a romantic doesn’t help you, it won’t acquire what you really want and desire. In fact it doesn’t do a thing, but build up fantasy like images in your head about someone you want, and not really there for you. The bible says that keep your heart pure and you mind full of him; we can’t do that if we have our focus on something like wanting a boyfriend, spouse etc. I am an awkward person when it comes to talking to guys that I find attractive or if I fancy them. Trust me, if you grew up homeschooled, and believe in courtship, you’d think you’re an awkward person around guys. Being an awkward sociable girl with guys can be hard though, because your mind is going several miles an hour thinking of what to say without embarrassing yourself in front of the guy. See, what I mean? If our hearts aren’t in the right place when we talk or get know a guy close in age, then there is no chance to have something like that in your life.
Romance is something I have always wanted to experience ever since I turned sixteen, but my hormones weren’t really there for that, nor the age I am now. But it would be nice to meet a nice guy, get to know him and his family, and then start a family of your own. Do you see what’s missing from that equation? Duh, it’s God! A relationship is like a triangle, if you remember what I discussed about in my last post about relationships. And without the third component in that triangle, then all your triangle will be is a line with a ditch in the middle of it. Romance can be exciting and thrilling, but without God guiding you then it will go down a large toilet. Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Hebrews 10:22.
It’s a lovely feeling to fall in love, but it also hurts too. Because sometimes the person you fall in love with doesn’t particularly love you the way you love them, thus leaves you with a piece of your missing. Your always gonna find that one guy or girl who you always loved your entire life, and your always gonna have or at least for me, have piece of your heart missing. But if you listen to what God says about the right person for you, then you wont have to give your heart way to some random bloke you met or some girl you saw on the beach. Our life is full of flaws, and finding someone who wants to fall in love with those flaws is romantic enough for even a girl who isn’t in the mood for romance *coughs that’s me coughs*. He who loves purity of heart, and whose speech is gracious, will have the king as his friend. Proverbs 22:11. I know there a lot of books out there that dedicate their main subjects to romance and falling in love with some boy or girl; that’s why people, mostly single and married woman get the idea that they need a better man like the ones in the books or on TV.
It makes me sick that married woman, aka cougar moms like men in books or TV shows that are better than their husbands. Why does society do that? Woman who are married need to be faithful and true to the man they marry! This goes right back to the triangle thing again, without the main component there will be a ditch in the triangle.
All of this, all that I have said has been bothering me. I crave a lot of this. I crave love, I crave someone to be with me; affection. I want to be like all the other girls that have a boyfriend. It’s stupid I know, but being a woman my age it’s kinda pitiful. But I have my God by my side, and with Him guiding me, I think I can over come such cravings for affection. I try ya know…but it’s hard.
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14 ESV