“I aim to misbehave!”

Here be my book. I know some have been wanting to read this, so I have finally decided to post it on my blog. I have edited this many times, over and over again. I surely hope that the grammar is okay and it doesn’t sound too lame… So, I present to you: The Darkness Within; Chapter 1: A Stranger with a Message.

It was a brisk morning in Malkvair; I was asleep in my bed dreaming up far off lands where maybe one day I might go, but that dream was delayed by an angry knock upon my door. I was very frightened, so I leaped from my bed to answer the door. There before me was a man dressed in black and brown leather standing in the hall full of anger; it was Jaribenn’s twin brother, Garth. Garth has a distasteful hatred towards me, and what I believe; he has wanted to get rid of me ever since I lived here.
“Guards take her to the dungeon! Wait till my brother returns to deal with this filth!” he roared.
I felt confused; I had no clue as to what was going on and why Garth was in my chambers. So I stood up to him, asking why he was in my chambers and taking me captive.
“What have I done to you?” I asked.
Garth faced me and gave me a glare full of fire but never answering me, so the guards left my room and struggled to bring me to the dungeon. I still didn’t know why I was being put in there in the first place; it all seemed rather…odd. Just as the guards reached the dungeons, and I saw Garth’s brother standing in the corridor talking to one of his servants.
“Lord Jaribenn has only a few weeks til…” murmured the servant.
From where I was, that was all I could here, till the guards threw me into my cell. So I sat in my cell pondering on what the servant was mumbling about to the lord; I also still wondered why I was in the dungeon and not given and food, drink. As the hours passed on, I questioned myself as to if I’ll ever get out of this cell or yet live to tell the story. Seeing that I had nothing else to do, besides draw in the dirt beneath me, I began to pray for my release and for some food as well.
  ‘O my Heavenly Father help me in this time as I waste away in this cell, for I have nothing and I don’t believe I will escape this horror. I praise for your mighty works and I know you will help. I thank ye, Amen!’
Then suddenly out of brisk desperation, one of Lord Jaribenn’s servants came to get me and take me to Lord Jaribenn’s court.
“My Lord Jaribenn wishes to speak to you” a guard said holding me up.
I looked at the guard, but didn’t say anything as I followed him to the great hall where Lord Jaribenn resided. The hall was decorated with many ancestry portraits and several valuable treasures from across the realms. Before we could enter, Garth had to inspect me…


When entering the lord’s court room, Jaribenn was consuming a pint of ale and writing on a special paper, as he was doing that one of the guards threw me on my knees.
“Bow before Lord Jaribenn” the guard bellowed.
I looked up at Lord Jaribenn; he was young man with dark hair and green eye. His face was perfection in every way, and his smile just said it all. Next to Jaribenn was his brother, Garth. Garth and Jaribenn were twin, but not identical. Garth had blonde hair and Jaribenn had black hair that was longer than his brothers. Both men had a distasteful hatred for religion or beliefs in the Malkvair. No wonder I am in his hall.
“Is this her, Garth?” Jaribenn asked.
“Yes brother, she was the one praying to her God.” Garth sneered.
“I see. Well what is your name girl?” Jaribenn asked me.
I brushed the guards off my shoulders, and stood straight up to face Lord Jaribenn in the eyes, then I answered him kindly but not rude so he wouldn’t throw me back into his dungeons again.
“My name is Anya, and just so you know I live in this castle, my lord.” I replied with a bow.
“Lovely name, I am Lord Jaribenn and you’ve met my dear brother Garth already. Do you know why you’re here, Anya?” Jaribenn asked.
“Because you hate my God and you hate me praying in your castle?” I said.
Before Lord Jaribenn could answer my reply, a guard came into the hall and announced that a messenger from a far off land has arrived with a message for Lord Jaribenn.
“Sir, a messenger wishes to speak to you” the guard said.
“Not now I am busy with this girl.” Lord Jaribenn sneered.
“But sir, he says it’s urgent news from King Wesley of Boligore!” the guard exclaimed.
“Send him in!!” Lord Jaribenn shouted.
The guard sent in the messenger, and from my view it wasn’t any normal messenger that I’ve seen before; it was an elf messenger. From the looks of it, this elf didn’t look like a messenger at all, just someone holding a message for Lord Jaribenn.
“Lord Jaribenn, I am Nathaniel from the Forest of Peace. King Wesley wanted me to give this to you personally.” Nathaniel said with a bow.

“My lord I’m writing this to you in warning of a great evil between you and Condevia; Darkness’ army of goblins. Please take precautions dear friend.” ~King Wesley

Lord Jaribenn was frightened and worried of what might happen, so he asked Nathaniel.
“Saint Peter’s beard, how far is the war from here?” Jaribenn roared.
The elf didn’t answer. So I interrupted, “Why do you ask when or how far this evil is? For the evil is not of men, but it’s a spiritual one!” When I finished Nathaniel rose from his chair and walked swiftly over to me saying, “Young lady, who are you?” I couldn’t answer in time because I was forced to leave the court room; I went back to my room, and waited till this whole thing died down.
“Sire the Ancient Words tells us who can defeat this evil!” Nathaniel stated.
“No! She can’t be the one!” Jaribenn yelled.
“Yes sire but she is the only heir from Jacob” Nathaniel reassured Jaribenn.
“I don’t believe it! Be gone with you elf, I don’t need you anymore!” Jaribenn sent Nathaniel away.
The elf bowed, and left the court room silently; while as for Lord Jaribenn he was in a fit of rage from the terrible news. Somehow that stranger with the message had something to do with his rage and possibly this whole journey…

Quote is from Firefly. Mal Reynolds has a way to misbehave 😉


“Iron Fist isn’t just a fist, he’s a whole dude.”

image So last night was prom, or Homeschool Prom. My best friends and siblings went out to eat and then got pictures together as well. It was a great night, one I will probably remember. For once I stepped out of my comfort zone and made a new friend and danced with a some guys :3 I didn’t let past friends get to me, and simply enjoyed my evening with my best friends. Also meeting new people doesn’t hurt, you just have to make conversation no matter how awkward you are when out in public. Besides my lovely evening, I shall tell you how my past week was…

~Mom returned from FL


~Country Music

~Reading my manga


~Writing a new story for 4-H

~Double Camp Counselor meetings in one week -_-

~Playing Mass Effect 2 🙂

~Once Upon a Time marathon *SCREAMS*

~My cat Percy helping with laundry

~Texting my friends

Well I do believe that is it. Let’s just say this week was full of stuff for me. Next week will be extremely busy…yay! Not. You guys have a good rest of your weekend!!

Quote is from Ultimate Spider-Man. Apparently there was a statue in Manhattan that was a made of iron and was a fist. Spidey didn’t take to kindly to such a mix up. image

“She’s melting.” “Maybe we should be looking for ruby slippers.”

As I grew older, telling people what my personal belief was in Christ, was difficult in so many ways. But now that I’m close to being an adult, I find it easier and a lot more manageable to talk about around other adults and teens. My faith and what I believe is different than most people would think in the SBC or other Baptist sects, but it’s not just my religious belief; there’s other things that go along with that. So, since I have the time to sit and tell you fellow readers about my beliefs, I shall tell slash describe them to you.


John Calvin, a former French theologian and pastor during the Protestant Reformation, also the founder of Calvinism too. Calvin spoke of different doctrine of faith from what the normal Baptist teachings would say. He, later on in his life, initiated the Christian theology of Calvinism. This has five points to it: Total Depravity (Original Sin), Unconditional Election, Limited Atonement, Irresistible Grace, and Perseverance of The Saints (Once Saved always saved). All these points describe what I and my family believes, and bases our decisions on each day. To some, mainly the SBC, think that Calvinism is not true and that there was no such thing as original sin.

Now I use to be a Baptist, but after leaving my past church, my father started teaching Calvinism to us as a family. Thus we started to grow more into the doctrinal teachings of Calvinism, and became Calvinist; great huh! But besides these points, and teachings, there are other things that I as my own person believe in. The Three P’s, that Voddie Baucham talks about for a good husband and what not. (I’ll be getting to that later…)

On top of my belief in Calvinism, I also have a few things about Free Will. I, as a Christian, do not believe it is our choice to ask Christ as our Lord and Savior. Why, you ask? It’s simple, were sinners. We’re depraved creatures, who do not have the right to ask for God’s help, because in reality we don’t want His help. This is why Christ calls us to be His follows, not us choosing Him to follow Him; I know its confusing, but meh.

Next subject…


Now pay attention young men, for this subject is very important to any of you who are interested in me.

As you may know, I don’t do the whole dating thing. Nope. I think it’s a waste of time and stupid to even get to know someone like that. Because you’re always alone with that person, and sometimes things will get out of whack, thus leaves you with emotions everywhere. That’s called infatuation. It doesn’t matter how, or what you call it, it is what it is; infatuation.

For a while, I thought having a boyfriend was lame and not very exciting, but getting older I found that a need for a boyfriend was something I craved most. My crave was pathetic. Stupid in fact. For someone like me, who has been raised on no dating, craved for someone in their life. How lame is that. But once I realized that God is sovereign and the great provider, I just gave up on this crave. Although, liking boys isn’t a problem, I can do that if I wanted to; I just keep the crushes I have to a minimal level so I don’t break my own heart.

I am not a normal teenager/young adult, who gets all tangled up into boys like some teen girls. It’s not worth my time to spend every waking hour to always think about whatever guy I like. Exhausting, isn’t it? Anyways, getting to the point of this subject finally. Dating is a non-biblical way to find a future mate, because you go through guys like a chicken goes through corn. I don’t think going through guys is the greatest way to find a guy, the right guy that is, more importantly a Man of God. So, I was taught the ways of Courtship, the ways Jane Austen did and Elizabeth Bennet did. But courtship is not what you think it is, let’s just say it way better than dating multiple guys. Courtship is this: Dating with a chaperone, and with a biblical purpose. Parents are always involved in the relationship and so is Christ. Preparing for marriage as well.

So when guys start to get interested in me and in a romantic way, they get the load down of what I believe and so on. Does it give up my hope of finding someone? Um, sort of, but I am not worried about it really. Having a fancy for a young boy is nice; it  just gets old. You know what I’m saying? Courting someone means you have the intentions of marrying that person, whoever it may be in the future. Like Jason, he courted this young lady he met, and now their engaged; God was the center of this relationship guys. See, every guy need to be like my good friend Jason: Having God on their side through a relationship, and seeking wisdom from Him.

That’s where the three P’s come into play as well. Voddie Baucham has taught that a good future husband must have certain requirements for their future wives, and I know just what they are.

Prophet/Priest – Being the spiritual leader of the house is very important when wanting to start a family. Thus why when someone approaches you and asks to court you, his relationship with Christ needs to be strong.

Provider – Being there for your future mate is extremely important. You as a man of the house have to provide the wife and possibly children with the necessities they need. The future wife will also need the man to build her up in Christ when she felt like she lost her way.

Protector – Being the strength and the sole protector of your home. It’s the man’s job to protect his wife, his children and his beliefs. Your suppose to stand up and protect your family/life from those who would hurt them and you in whatever stake it maybe.

There you have it, my belief in relationship statues. It may sound lame to the average non-believer, but screw you, I like it and it saves me from heart break.

Next subject!


I have a thing for goth and emo stuff (not the creepy things). Hot Topic is my favorite store in the mall, and it has the coolest clothes in there. Now, some of the clothing that I wear on a regular basis is either black, dark purple or grey; no bright colors. Also I enjoy Christian hard rock (mainly Nine Lashes Sent by Ravens), but my attitude has no relation towards many emo or goth teens. My liking for it is very quiet, because there are some who dislike goth and emo teens, but I think that they need to be reached out to and preach the gospel.

On top of the whole emo/goth thing, I suffer from anxiety and depression. Now, I’ve spoken on this subject before but it wasn’t very factual or correct. You see, my anxiety triggers when loud noises occur, events that happen in the future come, when bad things happen and other things. But there are things that can keep from freaking out and shaking, homeopathic remedies. Lavender oil, Arsenicum and Peppermint oil. These three things keep me from throwing up, having trouble sleeping and cease me from shaking on a regular basis.

As of my depression, now that’s different from anxiety. Depression brings up past things or words from the deepest part of you mind and let you dwell on them. Thus you start hiding away from people and avoid all contact from friends and also family too. (Some of that is introvertness.) Another as to why I wear black sometimes… But, I’ve gotten better with it, there are just somethings that bring up these two things and cause me to hide away. Other than that, I am what God has created me to be, and that is His child.
End of debriefing and my longest blog post ever. Y’all have a nice weekend, I know I’ll try to do so… *salutes*

Quote is from Castle. Yes, I have finally gotten into this show, and I love it 🙂


“I can’t loose you too…”

So I’m now obsessed with country music; I use to hate it because it was all about love and romance crap. But once I got past those lyrics, and realized that most of the lyrics were safe and actually decent, I began liking it. There are some artists I hate though *cough cough Jason Aldean* not because of who they are, but what their music is about…all the time. As you can tell, most Country artists either sing about Whiskey, Love and Farm, but mainly its Love and sometimes Sex. I don’t understand why they sing songs like that!? I know its the world but really people? Like Luke Bryan for example. He sings either about Summer Love or Beer. I mean come on, can you sing about anything else, please for heaven’s sake! But again its the world and they always have to throw the worldly things of this day in their songs.

But…there are Christian Country artists like: Carrie Underwood, Josh Turner, Hillary Scott (Lady Antebellum), Johnny Cash, and Randy Travis. Now they put some worldly things in their songs, but as a person they are Christ-like. Even still we as Christians can still fall short when it comes to music and lyrics, and how we see through then meanings. It’s sad though, because when the media finds out that the artist is either a Conservative or Christian, they lash out against that artist. Like Brad Paisley, he is heavy Conservative and people on the left flipped out when he lashed out against the LGBT at the CMA awards after singing I’m Still a Guy. Now I love Brad, Luke and other artists very much, I just need to be careful when it comes down to their songs and the material in them.

I have a list of my top 10 favorite country songs from multiple artists, so I’ll share them with you for the conclusion of this blog post 🙂

1. Wanted by Hunter Hayes
2. Homegrown by Zac Brown Band
3. When the Sun Goes Down by Kenny Chesney
4. Cowboy Casanova by Carrie Underwood
5. I Don’t Dance by Lee Brice
6. Rollercoaster by Luke Bryan
7. Play it Again by Luke Bryan
8. Perfect Storm by Brad Paisley
9. Travilin’ Soilder by Dixie Chicks
10. Girl in a Country Song by Maddie and Tae

Quote is from Once Upon a Time. Emma doesn’t want to loose Hook after she just lost Neal…


“Washed up at fourteen, how sad.” {Update on Me}


I know I haven’t posted in a while; sorry about that. Just life gets in the way of what I like to do, and sometimes when I do decide to either write or watch something, I get side tracked. But since Spring is here, I’ll probably be getting into college and finally get my license too. So I’ll be need prayer for those things. As of now, I am helping my mother around the house, and taking care of Robbie Jr when she needs it.


Anyways I am not sure many of you know, but the guy I was sorta with, isn’t with me any longer. Explanation? Well let’s just say, people can’t be adults and face problems and forgive/forget past problems. Therefore, crap happens and it leaves you broken and furious; I’ve gotten better but it still hurts a lot. Christ has shown me that being mad about past things isn’t going to help me mend bonds or make new ones with such anger or hared to people who wronged me. Again it comes down to trust in God.


But good things comes to those who wait. All I am now doing is waiting for God to show me the right guy to enter into my life and actually be a Man of God and not some push over. I hate being pushed down by past things a that keep coming up to haunt me; whether is past friends or past words I’ve said. I just want a guy who can accept being with Christ is a marvelous thing and that his family won’t dislike me with hatred. Then and only then will I feel better and feel God’s will being done.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jer 29:11 (ESV)

So that’s been the major thing that I’ve been battling, and coping with since I received an email from him. I know it sounds pitiful and lame to be all hyped up about a guy, but for me, it was the first time a guy had an interest in me. That was huge for me, especially at my age and maturity level. But…oh well, God had a plan and shut that door before me, I just need to move on and deal with it. 🙂 I have a great family that helped me and even greater friends who picked me up when I felt like hiding after such email.


Now onto my lovely bullet points on how my weeks have been so far, that way you guys can catch up on me.


~A single baby ducky  ❤

~Age of Ultron


~The Last Ship (Newest TV show)

~Warm weather

~Flip Flops


~Coffee (lots of it)

~My best buddy Alex *hugs* She’s an amazing person!

~A new person in my MMA class…

~Prom is April 24th

~My precious knee highs

~My little brother 🙂

~Drove my Ranger in the dark.

~My pastor’s wife is the greatest and so is my associate pastor’s wife 🙂

~Hook/Emma ❤

Quote is from Big Hero 6. Tadashi Hamada is my favorite person ever ❤