Disconnected so far away
Ammunition the words we say
I know that we can turn this around
We should be building bridges instead of burning them down.

-Veridia, Disconnected

You’ve done it again; catching yourself thinking about how it use to be before this all happened. You spoke a lot back and forth, you sang a lot and you cared a lot. Now, now there is this wall  that blocks you from ever trying to rebuild that bridge you once had. No more weird smiles, no more music and no more friendship. So why do you keep remembering those time you were good friends, those time where a single person brought you together? The thought can’t escape your head; you want to say sorry but you’re too afraid to get rejected again. You need to leave it alone and move on with your life, you’ve done all you can there is no going over it twice. Disconnected; that’s what you are, just deal with it and move on.

Worrying about it won’t help you heal, it will only make you weak. You can try to talk to whoever it is, but will help in the end? Is that person going to shut you out or ignore you again? Why do you even care, why does it bother you so much? That person you once knew is no longer with you. You’ve may been good friends and possible more, but there’s no need to fret anymore. But you can’t escape the though and drop it for good, because that person met something to you. Is that good? Please stop torturing yourself about all of this, it won’t make a difference. Disconnected; that’s what you are, just deal with it and move on.

Now here you are, worrying about that person once again. Will they see you as that person you once were or forget everything and walk away? Why does this even matter to you, why do you care? You have no clue but the thought is still there. So, what should you do now? Should you walk away and forget all of this or finally face your fear and with deal with it? Disconnected; that’s what you are, can you you just leave it alone and move on….

A post for myself and maybe other.


You’re Not One of Us


You’re made to believe the if you pursue your greatest dreams they’ll come true. You’re made to believe that once you’ve become a Christian that nothing bad will ever happen to you, ever. You’re made to believe that once Christ enters into your life, you’re fully protected by folly and hate. For years you believed that, and now you’ve hit a place in your life that you can’t seem to climb out of. But even as you sit in such a dark hole, there is still a ‘I am a Christian’ label stuck to your body. How are you still labeled a Christian if you’re in a dark place doing dark things in your life and to others? How does anything you do or say even reflect Christ? Guess it doesn’t, I guess that means you’re not one of us.

You’ve read the Bible through in through, but never truly applied it to your life. You’ve stopped attending church and listening to your pastor. You’ve drowned out what your parents have taught you and ignore God’s. For years you have been doing this and nothing has seemed to change. So you’re stuck in the mud with no way to get out, except to cry out to the one you shut out. But He can’t hear your cries because you spent years ignoring His words. You begin to drown in the mud pit of self doubt and bitterness; all you have to do is listen to Him so He can save you. Guess that means you can’t hear, I guess that means you’re not one of us.

Enough of this bondage and self loathing. Break free from such darkness. But you can’t by yourself, that’s not how it works here. You can’t save yourself from your own sin, from your own darkness. Only He can, if you just listen to what He says. You can be one of us; the ones who bring light unto that darkness and share God’s word with one another. Stop believing that you can somehow loose your Christian label, and step away from God. You can still be one of us, you can still at least try.

“For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.”  Romans 8:29-30

Please Understand Them

Having a mental illness is hard to control, because most of the time it controls us. You shake, worry, ponder and get physically sick over the smallest yet biggest things that tend to happen. Explaining how you react to things and how your mind works to others is hard, because they don’t quite understand them. Even the slightest misconception throws someone with a mental illness into overload and they think everyone in the world hates them even if they didn’t do anything specific. All you ask is for understanding and respect as you struggle through those illnesses. 

Please understand them. You personally may not understand them, but if you try hard enough, you can. Seeing if there is anything you can do to make something less of a punishment to them or an embarrassment; then step up and do so. A mental illness causes the person to think their not good enough for anyone, and once they have failed at something they think everyone will judge them for just that. Furthermore a mental illness makes someone self conscious about their body and how other people view them and their clothing. Please understand them. If you don’t want to take the time to care and understand someone who has a mental illness then you’re going to be a waste of time for them. 

God made all these people with mental illnesses very unique, and sometimes those people don’t value their uniqueness. But like a lot of people who struggle with these mental illnesses like: anxiety, depression, and self-conscious etc. There is always a way to face these struggles everyday; the Bible and prayer. Praying to have peace to overcome you each time you project mental struggles and reading God’s word to make you feel at ease with yourself. 

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:1-4

“Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love Him.” James 1:12

Please understand them. You can gain great friends even if they struggle with their own mental illnesses. All you must do is ask them if their okay and if they need anything. Because you may think their okay on the outside but on the inside their screaming for help not only for you but for God as well. Healing from something like a mental illnesses may take a long time or maybe never, but if you’re there to understand and help than you can make the hurt and suffering subsides. 

“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance.” Roman 1:1-3

Please just understand them. Please care for them. Please pray for them. Please just be friends with them. Please love them for who they are. It’ll go a long way…