Anxiety causes depression and then depression causes insomnia, then insomnia causes nightmares which then make your mind a cycle of bad behavior. You’re crying uncontrollably, you relive moments in time, and you begin to feel more sensitive to triggers every single day. From the outside you look all put together, but deep down, you can feel yourself screaming for help. The skin on your body crawls as memories that scarred you reoccur and play in your mind. Throbbing pain hammers your head as your grit your teeth when you can’t remember a thing someone told you. Bones crack whenever you move an inch or more. Your body feels like it’s slowly decaying all because you are trapped inside your own head.
It hard to see your life flash before your eyes and wishing it was better than it is now. You gasp for air because something scared you or a though swam in your head. Tears roll down your eyes when something so easy becomes very difficult to do. Slowly you close everyone off and crawl under a rock. No matter how many times you scream the pain is never going to stop. You feel no one understands where you are coming and no one cares. It’s all in your head right; it’s really just nothing. But that’s a lie. It really is something. A illness; a health hazard and someone in need.
Escaping is rough and not easy to do. Not everyone will understand and help you. Yes it’s hard to come forward and explain your health, but at least your trying to get help. It’s going to be chaotic sometimes and hard to stay alive, but just so you know you are loved a lot. Asking for help and getting it together can be scary, but it’s better than being dead forever. Whether you have scars, PTSD, chronic depression and anxiety; Christ never forgets you. This tears can be tears of joy and those thoughts should be pointed to Him. Because it’s only through His sovereignty that we can win.
Please understand that mental health issues are not a burden. We all have it, just not as bad as you do. Christ is our rock and our salvation. He provides for us daily and is sovereign over all of creation and time. It maybe hard to keep walking and breathing each day, but remember who has you and created the stars. It’s certainly not ourselves, but Christ. Don’t forget that, and continue to keep surviving for His Glory and Honor.
As some of you may not know, but I have mental health issues. I never had them as a your child, but when I got older and I had several things happen to me, I ended up have anxiety and depression and another form of depression called Dysthymia. These three things have made it difficult sometimes to function outside of my normal comfort zone or even if I am home alone. The symptoms I mentioned are what some, but not all experience these when they battle or suffer with mental health.
So I wrote this for the people I know personally who suffer with mental health issues and for this whom I don’t know. Because life is hard especially during the and after the pandemic. My prayer is you seek Christ for healing, but if you need more than just Christ don’t hesitate to seek therapy or take prescription medication. Just because you walk with Christ doesn’t mean you need other things to help you. Take care of yourself!
✨Corem Deo✨
Inside My Head 