I was the weird one, the broken one, the one everyone ran to
The little girl who was always happy until she wasn’t
It went from safe and secure, to scared and confused
I’m a lost soul bound to Jesus’ Name, yet when I call out its all faint
Don’t assume you know me, if you think I lie all the time
That’ll only harm me more and make me fly
My body aches each day I wake, but nobody bats a eye or stays awake
I’m not a victim nor blame others for my faults
Its simply sin and darkness that’s the root of it all
Yet when I speak its not heard nor anyone cares
Its only viewed as complaining when really its just pain
Silence me. Tell me I’m a liar.
Block me and fume in anger
My life gets better as yours crumbles
Why, you ask?
Because God is my Word.
So as I sit in darkness suffering alone
Remember who you are and what your words do
They hurt, they burn and scratch my mind
Only to be used against you when its fight or flight time
Shut up, or sit down
Listen or don’t
Because in the end if you can’t hear me
Only those who love will
I’m not a victim by you, but of constant suffering
You can’t save me, only God can each day
I’m plagued by fear, confusion and pain
But guess what, it doesn’t mean a thing
Being me has helped me cope
So stop choking me and let me go
I want to be happy and smile and laugh
Not be told to stop it and stay back
My life was and is how God created me
Not ‘normal’ but me.
I’m special
I’m unique
I’m wired differently
So let me be that way
Its not an excuse to live my life
But it will destroy me by saying that
You can be normal, but I won’t be
I’ll embrace how God made me
Not feel punished or broken
Let me be
Let me heal
~Coram Deo~
Inside My Head 